Here's to Friendship!

I'm at about the half way point of my Grateful on Purpose blog experiment. While the actual blogging about gratefulness has elluded me a couple times due to a busy schedule and an available moment to sit and post, the thinking about gratitude more regularly is starting to become second nature, which I guess is the point. It's like training a new muscle, it takes time, committment, patience....and then it's the new normal. But you have to keep being intentional about this gratitude lense, just like working a muscle. If you don't committ to the process, being conscious of looking for the good in your life/day,  it's a potentially fleeting state of mind.

For the past ten years, from mid-October to mid-November my weekends have generally been marked by massive amounts of leave raking. I'm not talking about an hour or two both days of the weekend either, I'm talking about major committments of time, energy and perserverence. I have serious, serious  trees and thus a serious amount of leaves to rake. Even though I thought I was keeping up on it and tackling it methodically, the amount of leaves still in my yard this morning, and now wet, was mind boggling. Added to that angst, the last street pick up of the leaves is this week. We never know what day for sure but it's this week. Well,  low and behold my friend Bob came over today with his industrial blower, his wheel barrel and some rakes and literally finished the job! It was no small job and it was cold out. I feel blessed with some really great friends but today I am feeling particularly grateful for Bob. Fall leaves 2012... done! Ahhh, big sigh of relief. Thank you Bob!

Warm and Dry

Sometimes I find the thing I'm most grateful for on a particular day is really pretty simple. Today, I am so grateful that I sold my Bears tickets and opted to watch the game from the comfort of my living room. The game itself was disappointing enough but the weather today, oh my! Talk about a blustery day! The temperatures dropped, then the rain came. It looked miserable to be there. My couch was clearly the place for me to be tonight. I'm just so grateful I knew that. 

Teaching Gratitude

30 ways to teach children about gratitude and kindness

by Debra Dane on March 13, 2012

in Gratitude and Changing Mindset, Parenting and family life

Last year I discovered the power gratitude could have in my life – it all began with exploring an attitude of gratitude and then extended further into my actions. I had always cultivated a spirit of gratitude and kindness in my children from a young age, but have been working on being more intentional and moving more towards more community acts we can take on this year now they are 7 and 8 years old.

Teach our children to focus on the positive and find gratitude

• Create a gratitude journal – older children can write on their own / photograph things they are grateful for and younger ones can be part of a family journal
• Reflect together on the best parts of their day – doing this regularly can help them pause and find the good in their days
• When they are seeking new things out of boredom or wanting to be like their friends look at all they already have (if they have genuinely grown out of / lost interest in their books and toys see “service” ideas below for donating and passing on things)

Celebrate big and small

• Teach and acknowledge that they are on a learning journey so they are kind to themselves as they begin new challenges – shift focus to steps they have taken rather than where they still need to get to
• Call grandparents and relatives / special people to share their progress
• Keep a journal, a chart or a keepsake method (like a jar you place notes in) they can refer back to and see all the great things they have done, positives in their life, wonderful experiences and memories

Be a family of service and explain why you are helping

• Volunteer formally in your community if kids are old enough (preschoolers and primary kids can often get involved in nature conservation or animal shelter assistance in many places)
• Volunteer informally amongst your local community

• help with chores or errands for an elderly neighbour
• help with gardening / mowing / pulling weeds
• cook food for a family in need or with a new baby
• pick up litter when you see it, especially common at local playgrounds

Be helpful and kind in your day to day life – at school, with friends, with neighbours

• hold doors open
• carry groceries
• return someone’s shopping trolley to the stand
• hold the elevator for someone you see rushing to catch it
• invite someone shy to join your group at recess / play break
• say thank you and wish your teacher a good weekend

Show appreciation for gifts and kindness you receive

• create thank you cards together
• teach your children how to receive gifts graciously even when they don’t like them
• thank someone for sharing food with you

Connect with the spirit of holidays

• At a time when many focus on things they want it is a great opportunity to shift the focus to thankfulness and giving (without having to deny our children fun and gifts)
• Participate in Operation Christmas Child -   You can take charge and organise one locally if it is needed or simply fill a shoebox or two. This is a great way for children to get involved as they can select the items.
• Select a gift together to place under one of the giving / wishing trees in your local shopping centre
• Collect donations of small books and toys and craft items for your local hospital – my girls and I started this 4 years ago and send out an email to all our friends each year and arrive at the hospital with upwards of four or five shopping bags filled to the brim. I explained to the kids that some children are sick or get hurt over the holidays and don’t even get to be at home. This way children waiting in the ER or staying as patients have small things to keep them occupied or cheered up. Last year one of our friends ended up in the ER suddenly with her daughter and she reported back how helpful it was to have something.
• Visit a nursing home and bring treats and small presents (like socks, handkerchief, soaps, flowers) and spend some time with people who may be without family at this time of year. Let your children (and their friends if possible) be surrogate grandchildren for an afternoon.
• Make it an annual ritual to clear out items no longer needed or wanted and donate them to charities and local schools and daycares or pass on to other families. My kids especially love knowing where their things are going.

Random acts of kindness

• You are never too young and no act of kindness is too small – you can sit down and brainstorm ideas as a family, explain how they can grab opportunities to be kind every day. If you need more inspiration check out the website random acts of kindness which has a wealth of resources.
• acknowledge small acts of kindness in your home – sharing, caring, taking turns, helping with chores
• talk about ways they can be kind at school
• set a goal to come up with (and actually do) a certain number of R.A.K.

 

Contentment Today

The sun is shining, and again I am reminded of how there is magic in the power of a beautiful sunny day. I am getting ready to hit the road for a mini road trip to visit my son Ryan at University of Iowa. I am grateful for this beautiful day outside to accompany me on my drive. It makes all the difference. I also grateful that Ryan sounds happy, happy I'm coming and happy and excited about his future. It changes from week to week, the fears and uncertainy he feels as he approaches graduation. But this day..... he sounds really good. It's a simple thing but it makes a mother smile.

Graciousness.....it matters

Technically I missed a day on the blog, but I'm not going to let it deter me from my mission. If it's rationalizing....so be it. Like many other American's, yesterday I was completely caught up in the vote, democracy at work. I have a point of view for sure but what I feel most grateful for today is the graciousness that was exhibited by all involved after the votes were in and the numbers were tabulated. Many of us are, or I should say most of us are so sick of the mudslinging that has become the norm during our elections. It seems as though we have lost our civility and anything is fair came to say in order to win. Both of the presidential canditates as well as senate race canditates and house seemed to show a new civility yesterday at the end of the day. There was no chant of a recount, no sore loosers, no over the top winners....it was a good day. . Will it last? Who knows, I certainly hope so, but today it gives me great hope. I am grateful for change in the political climate today, the goodwill and cooperative spirit that was so evident late last night.

Feeling Strong....

Ok, here we go to day five of my "Grateful on Purpose" campaign and I'm starting to scramble a little bit here. It's been a fine day, no major worries to speak of, just the chronic little ones we all have....like our kids happiness and their ability to make it in the world, the random  thoughts about a path not taken  or an opportunity missed. I needed to really stop for a moment today and take a breath and focus when I recognized how today I feel physically really good. My knee has worked itself out, my sinuses are clear again, my mood feels pretty good, especially since it's so gray outside. All in all.....I feel pretty lucky to be as healthy as I am, to feel as good as I do and to have no major health concerns. When you get to a certain age it seems the odds start to work against you.

My body has served me well. It has carried my two children, fought off illnesses, learned to jog at age 49, adapted to yoga at 50 and seems to be handling these hormonal changes as well as I could have expected. I am so grateful to have this strong, resilient healthy body. I'm so grateful to feel good today. Again this grateful campaign seems to  reminds me to focus on the simple things we take for granted because in the end....as it turns out....those simple things are the life of life.

Time Well Spent....

I'm already on day four of my  intentional gratitude blitz! I can honestly say I feel myself shifting a bit, feeling brighter I guess you could say,  as I spend a few moments each day reflecting on what's good in my life. Today was the annual Mother/Son Brunch for Naperville North and I am so happy I was able to attend  with my son Russell. Being the mother of a teenager is an often complicated ride with the occasional mixed bag of emotions. They are trying to seperate from us as they prepare to leave home, we are trying to let go but don't always fully trust that they don't need our input at every turn. Sometimes it all  doesn't come off as gracefully as we would like, on both sides.

But today was just an easy day.... to spend some time together, hang with friends, eat some good food, maybe win a raffle or two (we never win....), and enjoy each others company. I'm feeling grateful my son enjoys my company, that I enjoy his and that we take the time to  participate in simple things like this Mother/Son Brunch. It's been a good day. I love you Russell!

Here's to you Mom.....

Ok, it's day two of my gratitude challenge. Today I am grateful I get the pleasure of spending the day with my amazing mother! She has been the most influential person in my life in so many ways it's hard to even begin to name them all. Today though....it's just a fun day of wandering the South Loop Loft Walk together. We will put our mindbending existential conversations aside and just enjoy looking at cool lofts. She and I can vascilate betwwen deep, intense wonderings and then on to some sort of fluff more seamlessly than anyone I know. I love that about us! I am so grateful to have been blessed with this mother. I love you mom!

Ahh Yes, Sunshine....

Today I feel incredibly grateful for the sunshine. I am at times reminded, after several gray days in a row, how much the sunshine lifts my spirits. It puts a spring in my step. The sunshine reflecting off all the piles of gold and red leaves in my yard is a beautiful and nostalgic fall canvas. I'm glad I chose to have the eyes to see that beauty today.

Grateful on Purpose

I've decided to do something a little ambitious for the month of November. Every day of this month, I'm going to name one thing I truly appreciate and take the time to create a small blog post about it. Every day. (If you ever look at my site, you'll see this is a big commitment for me, as an only-occasional blogger.) But I want to force my focus onto gratitude, consistently and on purpose.

So this November, as Thanksgiving approaches, I'm going to open my eyes in a deliberate way to what is beautiful and good around me. When Thanksgiving Day arrives, I won't have to rummage around in my brain for something to share with family and friends at the table. I hope my heart will be so full of thanks that I might not need to say anything at all. I encourage parents to try this with your kids. Ambitious? Maybe, but give it a try anyway. What's the worst thing that can happen......?

So, without further adieu......

I am grateful for my beautiful and wise mother. She's over her horrible cold and feeling better! Yeah! My mother taught me and showed me the importance and fearlessness of searching deeper into one's self and listening to their heart and finding one's own true path. Without her gentle encouragement and validation I'm not sure I would have found myself in this profession....one that I love so much and feel privledged and born to do. So thank you mom, I love you!